Bring The Masses To Your Door!

I discovered something important about websites recently. Want to increase traffic? Then include the word "nude" and the name of some famous celebrity somewhere on your web page!

In a general update about what I'd been doing recently, I simply noted seeing a certain female star of the New Adventures of Superman show (whose name rhymes with "Berry Catcher") in New Orleans when I was there for a wedding last year, and I must have also used the word "nude" somewhere else on my rambling page, and suddenly I found loads more hits on my site when the search engines caught the update.

So want to increase your site's traffic? Here are some sure-fire ways:

  1. First off, go to the search engines and register your site (or use free places like Autosubmit) so that the engines actually know you exist.
  2. Use the name of any busty celebrity (i.e. "Al Gore") and also words such as "nude," "naked," "busty," and "doing it like weasels" anywhere else on the web page and just WATCH the hits rack up!
  3. Do something so that your own chest (and perhaps the rest of you, too) becomes famous. Odds are, this could get people to actively seek out your web site. Vroom Vroom!
  4. Change your name to that of a celebrity (i.e. "Jesse Helms") whom people want to see stripped naked and posed on the hood of a cherry red Corvette (or "Vette" as the "swank" dudes say). Then splash your new name liberally across your website and observe as folks flock to your URL.





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Last update: January 29, 2001